a million moths. » photo class

my matches

they are igniting. thanks to jose and how much he’s inspired me to aim high these last few months. with things like this. and this. and especially this. half the stuff he says about photography still flies right over my head, but that’s ok. i have big plans and i don’t plan to stop until i get there.

out by the tangerine tree

i went a little nuts today with the afternoon light and the tree’s tiny flowers. jose, my genius mentor friend who knows all there is to know about photography, was kind enough to let me borrow his macro lens over the weekend. i’m in LOVE, jose! and the lens loves me right back. honestly. i don’t know how it happened, but if you don’t see us in the office this week, don’t bother coming after us. we’re packing up our camera body, our battery chargers, our memory cards and my other little lens and we’re fleeing the country tonight. we’re sorry.

self-portrait # 3: photogram

i stunk, stunk like a field of rotten cabbage in the dark room tonight. my negatives were overexposed, overdeveloped and out of focus. i tried to fix things (over and over again) until they shut down the place, but that didn’t make my poopy photos any better. this is going to be a lot harder than i thought. really makes me miss photogram week when i could just stick my head in the enlarger and make pretty silhouettes of myself.

great news

on the photography front. i found a mentor; a genius, a real life professional to meet with me weekly and answer the torrent of questions flooding my brain as of late. in return, i’ve promised this kind and patient man lots and lots of the world’s finest coffee and if necessary, some pan dulce.

anyone who’s been around me recently knows this photography thing has taken on a life of its own. like godzilla on crack in a girl’s gone wild video. godzilla on crack without an instruction manual. “how was your day?” my cousin asks. “glad you asked, let me show you my pictures!” … ”can you hang out friday night?” my friend says on the phone. ”why yes, that way i can take your picture!” … “do you want me to make you some flan?” my mom asks. “sure! that might make a good picture.”

everything and everyone is unfolding before me in a new light. literally. and i’m like a moth bolting toward it.

to what end? i have no idea. i just know that i carry my camera in its cute, little camera diaper in my purse every single day and when i walk down the street and see a photo in someone’s chiseled face, their leathery hands, neon-pink hat, toothless child or pudgy pup, i hear godzilla growl. i want to scream FREEEEEZE! like they do on movie sets (at least i figure that’s what they do on movie sets) zoom in with my feet and snap away.

most of the time, i freeze. i swoon and sulk and quietly stalk the moment — the face, the hands, the hat — until it vanishes down the street. (two weeks ago in arizona i shadowed a little girl and her pink coat for three blocks, but couldn’t gather the nerve to kneel and shoot.) the travel abroad version of me would be ashamed. when i leave the U.S., a travel alter-ego takes over my eyes, my feet, my hands and my camera and i’m fearless. every flashing moment is mine, no exceptions.

this might be my first question over coffee tomorrow. how do i channel that version of me at home?

* photos: paris. spring 2006. shot with my old palm pilot

first assignment

in my photography class. photograms.

a few notes

about my new photography class:

first: i signed up for the wrong class. meant to register for a digital course, but ended up in film. film, as in black and white film, and huge contraptions that are called enlargers that are loaded with lenses that (i think) are somehow connected to timers that control the light that could ruin your pictures if you’re not super, super careful. film, as in my fancy new digital camera, is useless here. i literally reached for my purse straps and thought of running for the door. but then i heard the teacher say “fundamentals” and i figure i might need those. plus, the idea of working in a darkroom full of water makes me wanna throw a party for myself.

second: my teacher says people who only shoot automatic are idiots. (there’s one more fact you now know about yours truly.)

and third: she said xtlehsmflsmpfo, or something to that effect, about shutter speeds. and “once you understand the math, the sky’s the limit.” i hope she’s right. ’cause i really, really want to learn all this stuff and me and sky … we’re pretty tight these days.

* photo: angelino heights. february 2009.

holy moly

i’m scared. my photography class starts tomorrow night. and for every yes there are ten nos. yes, i love to take pictures. (i’ve been short of making out with my camera since it landed on my doorstep this month.) but no, i don’t know anything about shutter speeds or apertures or depth of field or lenses or light or exposure or … you get the point. until now, i’ve been a little kid elbow-deep in finger paint. now, it’s time to wash up and join the grown-ups for the real stuff.