a million moths.

she turned 16 years old today. and the girl is full of questions. questions that make you red in the face and land on your lap like hand grenades:

in the car the other day, she turns to me in the most serious way and says:

“nana … how do girls get boyfriends? all my friends have boyfriends. i want a boyfriend.” 

(long, pregnant pause while i think of all these girls with all their boyfriends and all the things these boyfriends want to do to these girls, including, but hopefully never, like-until-she-turns-50, to my baby sister)

“uhhhhh … mama, you should be friends with boys first. like for a really, really, really long time. then, we’ll see. ”

then a few months back, out of nowhere, in the restroom, she says:

“nana …”

(long, pregnant pause.)

“yes, chichi.”

“… are you a virgin?”

“uhhhhhhhhh ……………”